


It's always raining

by rizeh



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Depression, Drug Use, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-22
Updated: 2018-02-22
Packaged: 2019-03-22 14:32:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13766157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rizeh/pseuds/rizeh
Summary: And a little bottle suddenly came into sight, and he noticed it, because it said his best friend Promptos name boldly. This was his prescription. What was it for, again? He couldn’t remember.And then thoughts of Prompto enter his mind, and that definitely doesn’t help his anxiety. Their friendship has been kind of on shaky ground the last few weeks and it wasn’t really anyones fault.Well, maybe that’s not true…





	It's always raining

**Author's Note:**

> I guess I'm all of a sudden interested in writing. I dunno.
> 
> At first, I wanted to write for the nsfw "stamina" prompt and i had this idea and I was going to make it all sexy but then the real feels came at me out of no where and here we are, with a depressing, angsty, anxious story that will definitely have a part 2 to it because i have ideas.
> 
> more brief notes at the end
> 
> enjoy!

It's raining.

And it was just one of those days.   
  
You know, the kind of day where you’re anxious before you even wake up. The tightness in your chest builds up and breaks off, spreading through your body, seething through your throat, making swallowing somehow challenging, your teeth clench and suddenly it pulls you from any sense of sleep you were in the middle of.   
  
This was Noctis’s morning.   
  
In fact, this had been his morning more often than not, lately. He didn’t know what was going on, where this was coming from or how to even begin fixing it.   
  
He takes a deep breath in and squeezes his eyes shut, frustratedly bringing his hand to his chest, holding it tightly against his excessively beating heart.   
  
_Ba-dum.Ba-dum.Ba-dum_  
It feels like it's never going to slow down, like it's going full speed ahead and the pressure will be too much to handle and it will almost certainly burst.  
  
  
Why does this keep happening…  
  
Noctis rolls over lethargically onto his stomach and pulls a pillow out from underneath of him, roughly pushing it over his head while sighing loudly into the bed. He lingers there for a few minutes, hoping this unsettled feeling will go away but it is just not happening and he grips the pillow hard, digging his fingers into it, squeezing angrily and throws it harshly at the wall, just narrowly missing his mirror. He sits up quickly and reaches for his phone, and the light is too bright when he checks the time which...was…  
  
 **4:32 A.M.**  
  
Now not only is he anxious, but he’s angry, and he's confused. He sets his phone back on his nightstand with a loud crack. He rolls his eyes and can't be bothered to care if he had just unintentionally broke his screen.   
  
Noctis was wearing loose fitting black sweat pants, which were barely staying up around his hips and bunched around his calfs, he feels uncomfortable. No shirt, it was too hot for that at this time of year. He swings his legs over the bed and stands up, starting towards the bathroom, his eyes half closed, adjusting to the light now sure he wouldn’t be able to fall back asleep. He opened his medicine cabinet and rummaged through, not entirely sure what he was looking for. Something that would help him sleep, something that would take this edge off, anything.

And a little bottle suddenly came into sight, and he noticed it, because it said his best friend Promptos name on the bottle. This was his prescription. What was it for, again? He couldn’t remember.

And then thoughts of Prompto enter his mind, and that definitely doesn’t help his anxiety. Their friendship has been kind of on shaky ground the last few weeks and it wasn’t really anyones fault.

Well, maybe that’s not true…

Maybe…Noct is beyond jealous that his best friend is seemingly developing a relationship with that new girl working at the gas station down the road.

And… Maybe…

He was letting that seep into their conversations, and every. single. interaction. Just maybe.

But Prompto _knows_  Noctis doesn’t like to feel left behind, inadequate and forgotten. It’s kind of his main hang up. It’s his thing. He  _should_ be aware of that. He should do everything in his power to avoid letting Noct feel like that, right?

Prompto and Noct had been living together for awhile now, and it was going well, not that there was even a doubt that it wouldn’t. Before living together, Prompto was at Noct's house on a regular basis, when they were kids. His dad always busy, left little time for his son but Noct was more than happy to fill that time with Prompto.

Before things started to crumble, as they had recently, they were getting close. Maybe _strangely_ close for Best Friends but neither of them really cared or even acknowledged it. Noctis never felt a draw to one sex or the other, he just kind of liked who he liked and Prompto was the same, though Noct had totally seen his search history a few years back with the search “ _pale emo boy gets railed xxx_ ” and Noctis felt awkwardly flattered, he had simply assumed it had something to do with him, though maybe that was vain.

 

They had kissed before. Nothing crazy, or hot and heavy - Just small pecks here and there, mostly just being silly but sometimes they lingered on just a tad too long and they had both felt an electric jolt of _something_  between them. And maybe, that was the catalyst of everything. Prompto spending more time away, Nocts increasing anxiety and severely decreasing sleep, but Noctis, as smart as he is, isn’t so great at reading these situations, so he continues to think things are fine. He continues to be confused about this sharp and sudden anxiety and he continues to ignore that he could be an active participant, maybe even main contributor in this mess.   
  
He reaches for the bottle of pills, snatching them quickly, bringing them level to his face, to read the bottle and it’s scuffed up and hard to read but he thinks he can make out “alprazolam 1mg”

_Alpraz…. Oh, Xanax..?_

Now that he thinks on it, he remembers Prompto mentioning he had taken some medication in his early teen years. They didn’t really talk much about it, he never really thought to ask….

Noct shook the bottle loosely, and there seemed to still be a good amount of pills in there. He wondered if Prompto was still using them. He should ask him. He _should_ stop being so passive aggressive. He _should_ stop being so distant. Nocts head started to throb and he looks into the mirror in front of him. What he saw, it didn’t look anything like him.

Instead, what was before him was a sullen faced, pale, paler than usual, absolutely exhausted shell of his former self. His eyes bloodshot, purple puffy skin below them. How long had it been since he had had a full night sleep? It had been almost 2 months since Prompto had asked that gas station girl out and it was right about then that Nocts anxiety had unveiled itself. That lead to whenever Prompto came back to their place, Noct would be silent, stewing and isolating. And, naturally, Prompto didn’t want to be at home often anymore, and this of course made things spiral downwards and here Noct was. Staring at himself in a mirror, really looking at himself, for the first time in weeks and not recognizing himself in the slightest.   
  
His hand tightened around the pill bottle.

**Author's Note:**

> ok now, secondly, if anyone is struggling with anxiety and depression, know you're not alone. and if you want to chat to someone, there are people that will listen, and i can be one of them.
> 
> i'm writing this actually because i went through v. similar feelings in the last year and it's hard to come to terms with it sometimes but anyway i know no one is here for that, pls read, please enjoy, there will be sex in here at some point.


End file.
